It's raining today and I have thoughts. So I was like oh my goodness PERFECT DAY TO WRITE A BLOG POST AND NOT DO HOMEWORK. If you're looking for a funny, cute, or crazy post, this is not the one. If you want an opportunity to get in the head of Ashley for a small moment and see what she's been thinking, then this is a post you want to read. It's def on the more serious of sides compared to my last post. Yep. Well, I've had a really interesting last coupla days. They've been busy, exciting, stressful, fun, pensive, reflective, and evaluative. I've thought a lot about time. This week, this weekend mostly, I've asked myself: What am I doing with my life? What am I doing right now to be the best person I can be? What am I doing to increase my knowledge? What am I doing to make the lives of those around me better? What am I doing for my family? How am I making my testimony grow? Etc, etc. But I also asked myself a question very late one night that is really the inspiration for this post: How have I changed in the last year, for the better? This question brought a flood of emotions. The last year and a half I would venture to say was the most difficult time of my entire life. It was a lot of changing, refining, improving, allowing myself to be humble, accepting the help from others but especially help from my Savior Jesus Christ. Few people know exactly what situations I'm talking about. Some people ask me how on Earth I endured it. Some people sympathize. Some people judge. Other people have literally been, in my opinion, angels sent from Heavenly Father. He knew I needed them. My view on trials has completely changed. I used to think trials were to make us stronger or something we had so we could learn. I still agree with these things 100%, but I add another point to trials: we have trials so we can humble ourselves and recognize/remember who is in charge, which is our Heavenly Father. This week I was watching a Mormon Message, one of the new ones Elder Christofferson has. Here is the video for it. I encourage you to watch it.
In this video he says something that at the time of my trials could have been very applicable to me, and even now in general is good advice. He said, "I think what we have to do when the pressures are there and the clouds are dark and threatening is take life one day at a time." Which brings me back to the thoughts about time. Time can go by fast or it can go by slow. But time is time. There are always 60 seconds in a minute or 24 hours in a day. What we do with this time is what defines us. The last year and a half has defined me, but it's defined me for the better. All that time has refined me. It has allowed me to learn and grow. It has increased my faith in the Savior, the Gospel, and the Atonement. It has given me the confidence to love myself regardless of my appearance, talents, or past. It has given me experience, and allowed me to help others who have had similar struggles.
I am at such a good place in my life right now. I am so incredibly happy. A year ago, I didn't think I would be this satisfied with myself and life. But time has past. What is incredible to me is the love God has for us. He knows us individually and in times of doubt and difficulty He always knows the light will come. I am here to testify that the light always comes, whether it be soon or whether it be long. I know without a doubt when we cannot put our trust in anyone greater than God. I am a living testimony of that.
These are my thoughts on a rainy day.
No comments:
Post a Comment